Emma's Tinkerbell at my Doctor's office.
She left her there and went to play with something else. :)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Goodbye April, Hello May!
I'm not one for rushing a month to go by. I'm not one who wants things to go faster, for the minutes we have seem to go too quickly already. However, I am delighted to welcome May into my life. It's one month closer to seeing my husband again. In 61 days, hopefully, I'll be engulfed in his arms once again.
This only makes me treasure the fact that he's alive and well all the more. I think now to soldiers wives and families who won't see their loved ones on this earth again. I am grateful that my soldier is doing well and with the exception of some sores, that he is healthy and happy.
The end of April also brings the reminder that my son has been on earth for 22 days. I am enjoying every minute of my time with him. All these newborn moments will be gone soon, and though I can't wait for July 1st to come, I am content to hold my children in my arms and enjoy every single minute that we're together.
Odd how this hard time in my life has taught me to slow down and relish the simple things that matter most. Pushing my daughter on a swing, brings contentment that I never knew before. Swaddling my son in a blanket reminds me that I'm in my Father's arms. The little things that get pushed aside for bigger problems really are the source of comfort that I crave.
I am appreciative of the moments that I have been given. There's a song on Meet the Robinson's (Disney movie) that says it best..."Let it Go, Let it it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know, the hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you in the end. You will only just remember how this feels.
Our lives are made with these small hours, these little wonders...." I'm sure that some of the words in the song are different than that, but that's what I hear, anyway. :)
This only makes me treasure the fact that he's alive and well all the more. I think now to soldiers wives and families who won't see their loved ones on this earth again. I am grateful that my soldier is doing well and with the exception of some sores, that he is healthy and happy.
The end of April also brings the reminder that my son has been on earth for 22 days. I am enjoying every minute of my time with him. All these newborn moments will be gone soon, and though I can't wait for July 1st to come, I am content to hold my children in my arms and enjoy every single minute that we're together.
Odd how this hard time in my life has taught me to slow down and relish the simple things that matter most. Pushing my daughter on a swing, brings contentment that I never knew before. Swaddling my son in a blanket reminds me that I'm in my Father's arms. The little things that get pushed aside for bigger problems really are the source of comfort that I crave.
I am appreciative of the moments that I have been given. There's a song on Meet the Robinson's (Disney movie) that says it best..."Let it Go, Let it it roll right off your shoulder. Don't you know, the hardest part is over. Let it in. Let your clarity define you in the end. You will only just remember how this feels.
Our lives are made with these small hours, these little wonders...." I'm sure that some of the words in the song are different than that, but that's what I hear, anyway. :)
Monday, April 26, 2010
This is so overdue, It's pathetic!
Ha! Keeping up with a blog is alot more work than I ever imagined. Not an easy task for sure...
My son, Jensen Micheal, was born 18 days ago. Incredibly, we (Emma, Jensen and I ) have gone without our Daddy and my Husband for 12 days. That is the longest separation that Mike and I have had in over six years. We are missing him terribly, but we are becoming stronger as a temporarily no daddy family. I am hating it though. I struggle with tears on a daily basis, but I at least got to talk to him yesterday. He was allowed 10 minutes on the phone (his platoon got 10 minutes instead of the usual 3 minutes because they are the best in the company... Cool!)
He plans to graduate from Basic training on July 2nd. He should get a family day on the 1st and I'm looking forward to that day with every fiber of my being.
More soon when I have more time. :)
My son, Jensen Micheal, was born 18 days ago. Incredibly, we (Emma, Jensen and I ) have gone without our Daddy and my Husband for 12 days. That is the longest separation that Mike and I have had in over six years. We are missing him terribly, but we are becoming stronger as a temporarily no daddy family. I am hating it though. I struggle with tears on a daily basis, but I at least got to talk to him yesterday. He was allowed 10 minutes on the phone (his platoon got 10 minutes instead of the usual 3 minutes because they are the best in the company... Cool!)
He plans to graduate from Basic training on July 2nd. He should get a family day on the 1st and I'm looking forward to that day with every fiber of my being.
More soon when I have more time. :)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Life As I Know It...Is Changing
Today, I'm feeling very pregnant...exhausted and moody are the best words to describe what I'm feeling. Despite my plans and hopes, my live as I know it is changing without my permission. Odd, isn't it that you see how your life will unfold and then all of a sudden drastic things come and knock you over. When you get up, not only can you not tell where you are, but also you can't find your expertly laid out path.
Mike and I have always been planners and dreamers. Talking incessantly about our hopes and goals, we've always tried to follow what we thought was good advice and what was "God's will" for our lives. Turns out, out carefully laid out plans were all for nothing.
Mike is joining the Army. He leaves for basic training on April 14th. Six days after my schedule c-section, my husband will leave for six months. I'm tearing up now. No, this is not a surprise to me, but the way people look at me when we tell them what we're doing makes me feel vulnerable and downhearted.
"Are you okay with that?" they usually ask...the first question everytime to be exact.
My immediate response in my brain is to say "Of course, you idiot. I'm thrilled that this is what's happening to us. I'm overjoyed that my husband will be gone for six months. I'm delighted to have a two year old and a newborn to parent by myself. Screw you."
But, that probably wouldn't go over so well. So my real response is to hold back the tears and say, "We're in this together." My cousin, Danelle (also and Army wife) gave me some amazing advice months ago. She said that she would rather live her life with her husband even if he were to have to leave her some, than not be a part of his life at all. That is the truth.
Although we have encountered some major curveballs over the last two years, Mike and I are still happier together than we would be apart. We love eachother. We are best friends. We are true soulmates.
Thankfully, there are a number of things that I remember on days like today. One, I am blessed with a Heavenly Father Who is there. I may not feel like He's listening or paying attention, but my faith tells me He's there.
Two, I am desperately in love with my husband. Six years of marriage and I still crave his presence. I still love him with every fiber of my being.
Three, I am the mother of a wonderful two year old daughter, who although, right now is struggling with a cold and some allergies, is healthy and amazing. She has brought so much joy to our lives.
Four, I am expecting a healthy, baby boy in six days. After a relitively uneventful pregnancy, I am ready to have him here.
There are many more things that help my outlook become sunny again. On days that look bleek and depressing, I have learned to let myself cry it out, go to my special "thankful" thoughts, and continue on.
Mike and I have always been planners and dreamers. Talking incessantly about our hopes and goals, we've always tried to follow what we thought was good advice and what was "God's will" for our lives. Turns out, out carefully laid out plans were all for nothing.
Mike is joining the Army. He leaves for basic training on April 14th. Six days after my schedule c-section, my husband will leave for six months. I'm tearing up now. No, this is not a surprise to me, but the way people look at me when we tell them what we're doing makes me feel vulnerable and downhearted.
"Are you okay with that?" they usually ask...the first question everytime to be exact.
My immediate response in my brain is to say "Of course, you idiot. I'm thrilled that this is what's happening to us. I'm overjoyed that my husband will be gone for six months. I'm delighted to have a two year old and a newborn to parent by myself. Screw you."
But, that probably wouldn't go over so well. So my real response is to hold back the tears and say, "We're in this together." My cousin, Danelle (also and Army wife) gave me some amazing advice months ago. She said that she would rather live her life with her husband even if he were to have to leave her some, than not be a part of his life at all. That is the truth.
Although we have encountered some major curveballs over the last two years, Mike and I are still happier together than we would be apart. We love eachother. We are best friends. We are true soulmates.
Thankfully, there are a number of things that I remember on days like today. One, I am blessed with a Heavenly Father Who is there. I may not feel like He's listening or paying attention, but my faith tells me He's there.
Two, I am desperately in love with my husband. Six years of marriage and I still crave his presence. I still love him with every fiber of my being.
Three, I am the mother of a wonderful two year old daughter, who although, right now is struggling with a cold and some allergies, is healthy and amazing. She has brought so much joy to our lives.
Four, I am expecting a healthy, baby boy in six days. After a relitively uneventful pregnancy, I am ready to have him here.
There are many more things that help my outlook become sunny again. On days that look bleek and depressing, I have learned to let myself cry it out, go to my special "thankful" thoughts, and continue on.
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