D is for...

Deployment.

Yes, the word that has made me shiver for months is now a part of my vocabulary. I had this terrible fear that once we were moved to wherever Mike's duty station would be, that he would be deployed soon after. Well, my worst fear is staring back at me, but now, it's a reality.
He leaves sometime in the spring. Unbelievable. We are finally a family again, and my husband is being sent to a far off place. He will miss so much; holidays, birthdays, our anniversary, a whole year of events and day to day life without him.
So how do I feel? Numb.
My response to hearing the news was anger. I was mad. How could the army do this to our family? He's already been gone for seven months, a month longer than he was supposed to be gone for. I was mad for an hour or so. Not that anyone knew. My insides were having a battle with the news. I didn't want to believe it. Surely there must be some mistake; afterall, we just moved here!
After I cooled off, I began to realize that this is what he has trained for. This is his job. This is what he does. Then I thought of the families of soldiers that his unit would be relieving, and I began to think how happy they will be when their loved ones are on U.S. soil again.
Everyday since we got the news has been one of emotion. I am incredibly proud of my husband. I am proud that he is willing to do what he has to do to take care of our family. He is committed to serving our nation and for that I am grateful as well. I have cried. I have walked up to Mike will he was busy and said, "Babe, I just need a hug." That seems to be our code for...deployment is on my mind right now. We stand for a few seconds in each other's embrace trying to soak up as much as we can, realizing that it will be gone all too soon and that we are lucky people for having each other to hold on to.
There are lots of advice givers in the Army. Sometimes it seems helpful but often it is odd. Every couple has their own way of dealing with separation, and we will deal with it in time. Our journey is different from anyone else's.
I am asked so many times by "people who mean well"...how are you going to manage? are you going to move home? how can you just let him leave?
I have no choice in that my husband has to leave. In fact, he has no choice. But we have the opportunity to learn and grow even during what will be a difficult, lonely time in our lives.
So what is on my mind right now? Well, we have lots to do before Christmas Eve. Mike has invited friends to join us for Christmas Dinner on Saturday, and um...oh yah...we're still unpacking boxes.
When the hard times come, I hope I'll remember that this is only a chapter in our lives, it will not define us.

So...we made it!

We officially live in Texas. I promised myself after several visits to Longview, Texas as a teenager, that I would never go back to Texas. Wow....serious curveball in my life....never saw it coming. Military lifestyle and ....well....Texas. It's really, really big and barren, but there is a certain beauty to it. We drove through the city of Houston on our way to Fort Hood, and I'll admit it, it was beautiful. The weather is decent. I do however miss the green of Florida. The tan and brown colors everywhere are shocking to my system; as is the wind due to no trees...I miss trees...lol! Overall we are settling in well and adjusting nicely. I look forward to some four day weekends to go explore more of Texas.

Fantastic Week

I have experienced every emotion possible in the last seven days. Overall, it has been phenomenal. Seeing my husband for the first time after eleven weeks was unbelievable. Taking in every moment was so amazing. I shed lots of tears; it felt like I was filled to the brim with happiness and sorrow at the same time. Happy to see him and just have him with me; and yet, sad because it ended all too quickly. Emma, Jensen, and I are "home" now. Florida and this house are no longer my home. My home is truly where my heart is...and right now, my heart is in Maryland with my soldier.

Cloud 9

I must admit that I didn't think that I would hear from Mike until I was standing by his side on Family Day at Fort Jackson. BUT!!!! Tonight I was able to talk with him for 27 minutes. There is nothing like falling in love with your man all over again. I have had the biggest cheshire cat smile on my face since I heard him say, "Hey, Babe!" Yes, the butterflies are back in my stomach and that nervous feeling that I had when we were dating is here once again. This time, it is deeper and more overwhelming than ever before. Amazing that after six and a half years of marriage to this man, I love him more passionately than ever, and I know that he feels the same way about me. Isn't it wonderful to hear how much your husband loves you in his voice? Nothing makes my heart happier. I'm on Cloud 9.

It's Been Five Weeks...

Today marks five weeks since I talked to my husband on the phone. Mother's Day was the last day that I spoke to him. I am missing my best friend, husband, and lover terribly. I knew going into this new life that things would be different. But, I didn't know how hard this separation would be. I am eagerly looking forward to seeing him in two and a half weeks. Just being together, seeing him face to face, gazing into his eyes,and hearing his voice will be a welcome relief. Thankfully, there is an end to his basic training in sight.

My Incredibly Handsome Husband

We are so proud of our Daddy/Husband.

PFC Parks...Love you, Babe

We Miss You, Daddy

There he is, front and center.

 Miss you every minute of every day, Babe.